Itaewon

I have been to some pretty shady places in my life but Itaewon takes the cake. I laid my head on a pair of shoes on the floor of the Grand Hyatt at 4 something in the morning and waited for sleep that would never come. It had been a long day.

It started with a 2 hour bus ride from Cheongju to Seoul. Larry sat beside me as I stared out the window after I giving up on a quick nap. The night before was spent at an outdoor bar in downtown Cheongju. Morning came too soon as it usually does after such nights.

An alley market in Seoul.

After passing beyond Cheonan the bus raced faster and faster to the northern megatropolis that I had seen in so many travel shows. The green hills and mountains that follow you always here gave way to gray buildings that had sprung from the land and cut into the yellow smog-clouds.

Seoul is a big place. Seoul is a monstrously big place. It blows the population of New York out of the water despite being dangerously close to the guns of the North. It might be fair to say that Korea is a country based around Seoul as a disproportionately huge percentage of the population lives within its limits.

After the bus dropped us off at the express terminal, Larry and I made our way to the subway. Here, not for the first time and probably not for the last, I was following Larry like a toddler on a child-leash; I was completely useless in navigation. It was the best I could to simply keep up and not get caught and swept away in the currents of black hair that rushed about us.

We boarded one train and then another that took us to our destination of Itaewon.

That evening we were to be guests of Larry’s friend Lucy who made the occasional escape from life to the Grand Hyatt that sits atop a great hill and so overlooks the city line of Seoul. On this occasion she was awaiting the arrival of her brother who had been held up in Japan.

The entrance to a market district
in Seoul.

The first sight of Itaewon is startling. On what seemed to be the main drag cutting off bustling side streets there was the blinding and jarring sight of white skin, black skin, blonde hair and every shape of eyes. Itaewon is a Mecca for expats in Seoul, and for this it is the home to some of the most dynamic scenes this peninsula has to offer.

We meandered through the main drag and everything was so familiar. In a strange sort of way, the things that we have grown accustomed to at home had become exotic to all of us now residing in Korea. I had seen McDonalds here and there, but here was a Subway and a Quizno’s right next to each other. There was an Outback Steakhouse and signs announcing the soon-to-arrive Taco Bell. No Moes, though.

The people and places of Itaewon seemed to be worth the trip alone.

We walked past Thai joints, a Mexican place and countless vendors selling everything you could ever want and stuff you could never need. There were thousands of socks and stands selling shirts that were so inappropriate that even I had trouble reading them.

We turned a corner and began to walk up the steepest hill that I had ever seen a car drive up and shortly decided that we would never make it to the Hyatt at the top. This hill, with no exaggeration, rivaled that of Mt. Wachusett at home.

If ever I was impressed by a cabbie’s driving skills, this was it. In a manual, this guy negotiated hairpin turns, uneven road levels and some pretty ridiculous graded roads that were not wide enough for two cars at once all the way up until we were let off to wander our way to a room on the 8th floor.

I have never stayed in a place like the Hyatt. I can take that statement further and say that I will probably never stay in a Hyatt. Sure, that night I would be sleeping in a Hyatt but that was as non-paying, unauthorized trespasser. Still, the place exudes of colonial retreats and unattainable wealth. On the back side of the lobby is a wall of windows that look on the eternally hazy sight of Seoul. Down a flight of stairs and through the spa are the indoor and outdoor pools.

Pools are important to me. I can and have stayed in truly horrible motels only because they had a giant hole in the ground full of chemically induced clear water. These pools: my god! Inside was a contoured and curvy pool set with rock. Outside and surrounded by deep green grass and a couple of open air lounges was a massive pool decorated with an inlaid grid beneath the water.

“Hotel Rwanda?” Larry said. It was true, you had to wonder if any working Korean in Itaewon or anywhere else ever had the means to visit a place like this.

Traditional masks in Itaewon.

Another taxi took us past a military wedding party, down the hill and let us out onto that main drag. Larry, Lucy and I wandered to dinner where three incredible hamburgers and three very stiff drinks cost about 70,000W, which doesn’t translate to anything reasonable in U.S. currency.

Nearly a year without real beef, I am told, will make you do crazy things for the taste of a genuine hamburger.

Soon after we walked for a time to be accosted every ten feet by shady men offering custom suits and leather. With the setting of the sun, we met up with a girl named Katie and were off to Incheon to greet Lucy’s brother and take a taxi back to Itaewon for a night on the town.

There is no quick way back to Itaewon and there is no cheap way back. Indeed, if we didn’t find a taxi van we would have had to pay two taxi fares, as it was the van cost nearly $100.

Itaewon changes at night. Drastically.

Cart vendors for the most part disappear, to be replaced by Soju tents and kebab stands that pollute the air with intoxicating smells of afar and florescent lights that glow in the smoky haze. With nightfall, everything genuine or Korean about this place seems to flee into the hills.

Where as Cheongju or Cheonan nights see the school teachers out and about, Itaewon is the hub of vice for US Military personnel from the base at the edge of town. They come in the hundreds and they come with determination. Hard at work and hard at play.

An alley of Itaewon.

I do not begrudge the military their fun because god know what is to come with the North threatening open war, but it is hard to think what this place might have been like before they arrived. Korea is new to the realm of developed countries and Itaewon seems to be one of those places that was forced to sell its soul for the business.

We started the night off at a crowded bar, sweating even beneath an industrial fan. While westerners mingled and flirted and tried their luck with every girl around, we played asinine drinking games that all but assured that we would not be bothered.

At 1am the place died down fast and we were suddenly left with only a handful of small groups drinking at the bar. We set off in search of another spot and soon found ourselves wandering the night.

The air was saturated by laughter, shouting and slurred speech and the ground was covered in garbage. We stopped at a hole in the wall for Turkish gyros and were bumped around on the sidewalk as we ate; we stood in the way of everyone as they rushed from one drink to the next.

We passed bars and clubs of every sort. Music blared as people in every manner of dress and lack thereof passed us by. On the recommendation of two questionable girls we walked to the second floor of a building and walked into a bar that was barely worth the circle around the tables we made before we walked right back out again.

We passed through doors flanked by armed men in utility vests. It hip hop club that served us horrible Jack and Cokes as we watched the smoky dance floor bump and grind. The elevated stage was apparently reserved for those that were too cool or too bad to smile as they shouted along to songs raps that pulsed with the strobes. We left with another layer of sweat and grime.

As the night wore on we struck out again and again until any buzz we had had turned into plain fatigue. We found ourselves at the junction of the night and morality. As people questioned their willingness to go on we looked about the hills to our side and behind us.

At our side was one of the few openly gay districts of Korea. It is called Homo Hill. Behind us was Hooker Hill. No explanation needed.

Truth be told, dirty and grimy and sleazy as Itaewon is, there was something familiar about it. Itaewon has the feeling of every lawless frontier town in any Western and bares a remarkable resemblance to every Pirate movie representation of Tortuga.

In the end, the night ended here. Lucy and her brother went back to the hotel and the rest of us drank beer outside of a convenience store watching a group of hammered French argue and mumble. We walked down the street one last time as the MP’s began to make their rounds to at least feign control and enforcement of a 3am curfew.

So, at 4am I laid down beneath a table at the Hyatt with horrible heartburn, shoes for a pillow and an extra T-shirt as a blanket. Outside the night was just beginning to wind down. Those that remembered where they were from returned or else made a bed on the curb.

The next day the streets were as clean as ever and men peddling custom suits returned as though the night before was just a fading fever dream.