"I've Got a REALLY Big Gun"

Sometimes my life is a lot like that of Michelle Pfeifer in DANGEROUS MINDS, or like Steve Urkle in the episode of FAMILY MATTERS in which Laura’s friend gets shot for not giving her shoes to some girls who wanted them pretty bad.

One of my classes has a tendency to get out of hand. Actually, most of them share that tendency; but this class is so reliable that I would be concerned if at least one of the three little boys didn’t blitzkrieg my smart board at least a few times in the 30 minutes I have them.

We were doing an exercize in which I said an emotion and they made a facial expression to go along with that emotion. Now, this was done as a ploy. I was teaching a lesson that would last, if unaltered, a maximum of 5 minutes. This was a means to drag the time on and maybe get a few chuckles: these kids are pretty hilarious.

For a while, it was pretty tame stuff. They went into hysterics when I said “sad” and turned into maniacs when I said “happy.” I know that “crazy” is not really an emotion, but seing as these kids seem to have one foot in that state of mind anyway I wanted to see what they would do.

Mistake? Maybe.

The kid in the photo is the Skinny Boy. He, I believe, is responsible for the departure of Angry Girl. She simply couldn’t put up with his antics. He can be difficult to mange at times (in fact, right before this “episode” I had had to throw him over my shoulder and carry him to the back of the class to keep him from smashing his head into the smart board) but he is a good kid. He makes me laugh a lot. I tend to favor the kids who make me laugh.

I them them to be “crazy.”

He immediately goes into convulsions. He hit’s the ground and screams like a hyena. He stands up and yelps to the back of the room. The other two boys are put to shame. He comes back all cross-eyed and squacking like a bird and says “I haaavvvvvveee aa reallybiggun!!”

I laugh immediately. Kid really nailed the “crazy.”

Was not prepared for him to reach into his bag and pull out the most photo-realistic, gigantic handgun I have seen in person.

For a moment, my heart got all fast and my belly felt hot.

This is how it ends folks, I thought, blown away by a 45 lb 10 year old in an effort to demonstrate what a crazy face looks like.

It was a toy. Obviously. They sell these things everywhere. Guns are not an issue in Korea as they are generally outlawed. Therefore, apparently, police are less apt to blow somebody away with a toy gun: despite that said gun is bigger than the kids head and looks like something out of PULP FICTION.

I laughed a bit more after he packed up to go and I realized that the only things in his bag were an introduction to English book and a giant gun.

That kid totally earned the 4 stickers I gave him.